Today I Should be Happy


This is a time for living each day to the fullest.I am aware of that and yet , in years gone by, a time for closing a home , "should" be a happy one. At least in the past, that was my experience. Of course I do not believe in using the word "should" so even as I write these thoughts, I want to change them.Nonetheless, "closings" were always filled with a sense of starting again, and for this baby boomer, that hope carried me forward. But today was different. I sold a home without fanfare.This sale challenged  the wind in my sails  as I came to realize that for the first time in my life, my investment in real estate was not the investment I had hoped for.

The closing was anticlimactic. I was preparing for this day ever since we put this dream home on the market last May. Ours was a decision to move on, to free up more time for what matters now, in spite of market prices.

Our realtor and  closing attorney were as kind and understanding and talented as anyone you would ever want in professionals  handling these details, but that did not offset my feeling of sorrow.I had hoped to nurture a financial legacy for our retirement in this home, but that did not happen ...yet.

I say yet because I know my thoughts matter, especially as it pertains to our financial well-being and, as Eric Butterworth of Unity, teaches" this too will pass".

Many of my colleagues would say "look on the bright side", and I will.I live on the bright side 99% of my life, but my process includes feeling my feelings.

It is fortunate that I was able to build and live in this dream home for 9 years. I am grateful to have a plan B to support my retirement given that  plan  A did not provide a significant investment return for me.My realtor shared that many people come to closings and in this economy write checks rather than receive them.And many of my friends have lost their home to foreclosure or short sale.

So for tonight, I will honor my feelings and nuture new thoughts. I am consoled by the promise,"I know the plans I have for you,and they are  plans of peace ."As I left the office,I thought, 'I have no idea how this seeming loss will become a gain, I just know it will, as I open to that possibility."